Episode 16- Acceptance: The Secret to a Thriving Marriage

Maybe it is true that he is not supporting you in the way you want.
Maybe it is true that he has changed.
Maybe it is true that marriage looks nothing like you imagined it would.

But anytime we try to argue with reality, we create our own suffering.

That one shift in perspective has the power to change everything.

When Fighting Reality Becomes the Pain

So much of the suffering women experience in marriage does not come from what is happening, but from resisting what is happening.

We want our husband to be different.
We want ourselves to feel different.
We want the season to move faster or disappear altogether.

And while that resistance makes sense, it keeps us stuck.

The alternative is acceptance.

Not resignation.
Not giving up.
Acceptance.

Acceptance is learning to see reality clearly, without trying to change it first. It is leaning into what you are feeling so you can finally understand what you need.

Acceptance Creates Space

I once worked with a woman who was deeply unhappy with her body. She had been trying to change it for years and felt constant frustration when she looked in the mirror.

Instead of trying to fix anything, we practiced something different. Making room. Simply noticing what was there without judgment.

What surprised her most was how much suffering came from resisting what she already knew to be true. The moment she stopped fighting reality, her nervous system softened. Clarity appeared.

This is true far beyond our physical selves. It is especially true in marriage.

When we refuse to accept what is happening, whether it is how our husband shows up, how responsibilities are divided, or how disconnected we feel, we create tension inside ourselves. That tension becomes suffering.

Acceptance Does Not Mean Settling

One of the biggest misconceptions about acceptance is that it means you are giving up or settling for less.

That is not true.

Acceptance is actually the pathway to change. It is how clarity and self‑trust are built.

When you stop arguing with reality, you can finally hear what your emotions are telling you. Disappointment. Grief. Loneliness. Overwhelm. These feelings are not problems to eliminate. They are information.

Once you listen, you can respond with care instead of control.

The Realities We Try to Change

Many women come to me carrying the same painful thoughts.

I am the primary parent.
I do everything.
He is never around.
I feel alone in this marriage.
I cannot stand how he does certain things.
He needs to stop doing this one thing.

These thoughts are understandable. They also create immense suffering when we try to force reality to change before we accept it.

The work is not in making these thoughts disappear. The work is in asking what is underneath them.

What does this reality bring up for me?
What am I actually feeling here?
What do I need right now?

Those answers change everything.

Learning to Love What Is

Acceptance is an act of compassion.

It is holding space for yourself in frustration instead of criticizing yourself for having it. It is allowing disappointment to exist without needing it to go away first.

When you learn to say, “This is what I am feeling, and I can stay with it,” you regain your power.

There is something deeply transformative about noticing your inner experience and meeting it with love instead of resistance. This is where peace begins.

Abandoning the Fight With Reality

There is a simple truth that changes marriages.

When you argue with reality, you lose. Every time.

Reality does not need to be convinced. It only needs to be seen.

The moment you stop trying to force your husband, your marriage, or yourself to be different, something opens. Creativity returns. Playfulness returns. Solutions you could not see before suddenly appear.

Acceptance frees up energy that resistance consumes.

Becoming Who You Want to Be

Loving what is does not trap you. It liberates you.

From this grounded place, you become more intuitive, more present, and more connected to yourself. You show up as the wife and woman you want to be, not because someone else changed, but because you did.

This is how growth happens naturally. Without force. Without fear.

A New Way Forward

If you are struggling in your marriage right now, nothing has gone wrong.

The pain you feel is pointing you toward something important. When you stop resisting it and start listening, you gain access to wisdom that was always there.

Acceptance is not the end of the story. It is the beginning of a new one.

Lean into what is. Get curious. Let reality be what it is.

That is where peace begins.