Episode 23: Loving the Woman You Were, Are, and Will Be

There comes a moment when life feels noisy, decisions feel heavy, and everything starts to blur together. You might feel busy, productive, even successful on the outside, yet something inside feels misaligned. Like you are moving, but not quite sure where you are going.

This conversation is an invitation to slow down and reconnect. To look at yourself with honesty and tenderness. To understand how loving every version of you, past, present, and future, creates clarity, energy, and a grounded sense of purpose that ripples into your marriage and every relationship you touch.

When Direction Feels Elusive

So many women find themselves standing at a crossroads, asking others what to do next. Which decision is right. Which path will finally bring peace.

But clarity does not come from outside of you.

There is a quote from Alice in Wonderland that captures this perfectly. Alice asks which way she should go, and the answer is simple. It depends on where she wants to go. When she says she does not really care, the direction suddenly does not matter at all.

When you do not know where you are going, any path will do. And that is often why life can feel like spinning in circles instead of moving forward with intention.

Knowing where you are headed requires knowing yourself. Not just who you are today, but who you have been and who you are becoming.

Making Peace With Your Past Self

Your past self deserves more compassion than you may realize.

She lived through hard seasons. She made decisions with the information, tools, and capacity she had at the time. She coped the best way she knew how.

That version of you may have hustled for worth, overfunctioned at home, tried to control outcomes, or believed productivity equaled value. She may have lived through grief, exhaustion, anxiety, or deep sadness.

None of that was wasted.

When you look back with softness instead of judgment, something powerful happens. You can see that nothing went wrong. Every season shaped you. Every hard moment brought you here.

Gratitude for your past self creates stability in your present.

Caring for Your Future Self in Small Ways

Loving your future self is not about big goals or distant dreams. It is about how you care for yourself today.

It looks like small, intentional acts that come from love instead of obligation.

Making your bed so your tired body can rest well later.
Creating ease in your space so tomorrow feels lighter.
Letting yourself feel emotions instead of pushing through them.
Building days that feel aligned instead of frantic.

When your daily life feels supportive and grounded, it is often because your time reflects who you are and what matters to you.

If your schedule creates resentment, stress, or constant overwhelm, that is information. Something may be out of alignment. Not because you are doing life wrong, but because your life no longer matches who you are becoming.

Long-Term Care and Honoring Your Desires

Caring for your future self also means honoring your desires, even when they feel inconvenient.

Sometimes that means choosing what truly matters over what feels urgent. Letting the laundry wait. Letting the house be imperfect. Choosing connection, creativity, presence, or rest instead.

Your future self is not impressed by how much you checked off a list. She cares about how fully you lived. How deeply you connected. How honestly you showed up.

When you ask, what would my most loving future self do here, clarity often comes easily. Decisions feel cleaner. Priorities reorder themselves.

Alignment removes the noise.

Alignment Changes How You Show Up in Marriage

Understanding yourself changes how you experience marriage.

When you know who you are, where you have been, and where you are going, triggers make more sense. Decisions feel less loaded. Conversations feel clearer.

Marriage stops being about fixing or managing another person and becomes about how you want to experience connection in this season of your life.

When you are grounded in yourself, you bring calm instead of chaos. Curiosity instead of defensiveness. Love instead of fear.

This is how alignment within you transforms the relationship you are in.

Coming Home to Yourself

You are not meant to become someone new.

You are meant to unbecome what you are not.

Beneath the coping mechanisms, the roles, and the expectations is the same soul you have always been. The same essence you carried as a child. Whole. Loving. Enough.

When you reconnect with that truth, life simplifies. What matters becomes clear. What does not quietly falls away.

And from that place, everything begins to make sense.