Episode 26: Sole Proprietor No More

So many women are doing all the right things and still feel unsettled.

Kids are cared for. Work is moving. Life looks full. Yet underneath it all, there is a quiet sense of strain. A feeling that you are holding everything together with sheer effort. Your family. Your marriage. Your business. Your emotions.

For many women, the struggle is not about poor time management or a lack of discipline. It is about safety. Inner safety. The kind that allows you to breathe, to trust yourself, and to stop operating like the sole proprietor of your entire life.

This conversation is an invitation to look at what you are prioritizing and why, and to consider that the answer may not be found in rearranging responsibilities, but in learning how to build trust within yourself first.

The Hidden Cost of Being the Sole Proprietor

A lot of women feel emotionally exhausted not because they are doing too much physically, but because they are managing everything mentally.

Noticing what needs to be done. Tracking what is not getting done. Thinking about what your husband is or is not contributing. Carrying the invisible weight of decisions, schedules, finances, childcare, and logistics.

It is not just the laundry or the meals or the calendar. It is the mental energy required to orchestrate all of it.

When this becomes your default state, resentment builds. Guilt follows. You feel torn between wanting to focus on your business and needing support at home. It can feel like you are being asked to choose between success and partnership.

That tension is exhausting.

Why This Is Not a Willpower Problem

When stress feels constant, the body is often operating from a place of feeling unsafe.

This is not a personal failure. It is biology.

When the nervous system does not feel safe, it goes into fix-it mode. It scans for problems. It believes something must change in order for you to feel okay. That is when you start trying to control outcomes, manage other people, and solve everything all at once.

Even if circumstances change, the pattern remains unless the body learns that it is safe to feel discomfort without immediately fixing it.

This is why inner safety matters.

What Inner Safety Actually Looks Like

Inner safety is the ability to trust yourself no matter what arises.

It is knowing that you can feel stress, resentment, sadness, or overwhelm and still be okay. It is having your own back emotionally. It is the confidence that you will know what to do next, even if you do not have all the answers right now.

When inner safety is present, you feel rooted. You feel like you belong wherever you are. And when something does not feel right, you trust yourself enough to recognize it and respond without panic.

This kind of safety has to be built internally before it can be created in marriage or business.

The Playground Lesson

A simple moment can reveal a powerful truth.

A toddler wants to explore the playground, but only if she knows her mom is nearby. When mom tries to follow her everywhere, she slows her down. When mom stays rooted in one place and reassures her that she will be there if needed, the child relaxes.

She ventures farther. She moves faster. She connects with others. She plays freely.

The freedom does not come from being alone. It comes from knowing support is there.

This is exactly how inner safety works.

When you trust yourself to be there for you, you stop hovering over every decision. You stop micromanaging outcomes. You allow yourself to explore, grow, and move forward with confidence.

Learning to Feel Instead of Fix

One of the most powerful ways to build inner safety is to allow emotions to be felt instead of avoided.

Most emotions only take about ninety seconds to move through the body if they are not resisted. Yet many of us spend years trying not to feel them.

Resentment. Frustration. Grief. Overwhelm.

When these feelings are ignored, the nervous system stays on high alert. When they are allowed, the body begins to settle.

This can be as simple as pausing, closing your eyes, and noticing where the sensation shows up in your body. Breathing into it. Staying present without trying to change it.

This practice teaches the body that it is safe to feel.

Using the Body to Create Calm

The body responds to physical cues of safety.

Placing your hands on your chest. Giving yourself a gentle hug. Applying light pressure and telling yourself, out loud if possible, that you are loved, safe, and okay.

This is not positive thinking. It is regulation.

You are teaching your nervous system that even when life feels hard, you are not in danger. You are allowed to feel what you feel and still be okay.

Over time, this builds trust within yourself.

The Power of Letting Go

Much of the stress in marriage and business comes from resistance.

Thoughts like this should not be happening or he should be different signal to the nervous system that something is wrong. That triggers more control, more fixing, more exhaustion.

Letting does not mean approving or giving up. It means releasing the fight with reality.

Letting your husband be where he is. Letting your business be where it is. Letting yourself be human.

When resistance softens, energy returns. When the grip loosens, there is space to breathe, to choose, to act intentionally instead of reactively.

Freedom often arrives the moment control is released.

The Tree That Holds It All

Imagine a tree from the roots up.

The roots represent your inner safety. Deep, wide, grounded beneath the surface. This is your self-trust, your worth, your emotional regulation.

The trunk represents your marriage. Strong, stable, able to withstand storms because it is supported by the roots.

The branches represent your business and impact. Flexible, expansive, creative, able to move with the seasons.

When growth happens in this order, everything works together.

When inner safety comes first, marriage becomes a place of partnership instead of pressure. Business becomes a place of creativity instead of survival.

You are free to dream, to scale, to explore, because you are rooted in something solid.

A Different Way to Prioritize

True prioritization is not about choosing work over family or family over self.

It is about building safety within yourself so that every area of life can thrive.

When you trust yourself, regulate your nervous system, and allow what is instead of fighting it, you stop living like the sole proprietor of everything.

You become supported. Connected. Free.

And from that place, both love and business grow naturally.