Episode 20: What Men Want

This conversation is a little unscripted. A little raw. And deeply reflective.

It comes from years of observing the men in my life and noticing a pattern that feels both ancient and surprisingly simple. When we misunderstand what men truly want, marriages quietly slip out of balance. When we understand it, something powerful begins to heal.

This blog explores the primal instinct men have to provide, protect, and care, the difference between the hero’s journey and the heroine’s journey, and the hidden cost of constantly being in control. Most importantly, it offers a path back to balance.

The Primal Drive Men Carry

At their core, men are wired to provide, protect, and care.

This is not about modern roles or social expectations. It is something far deeper. A primal instinct rooted in biology, history, and survival. When men feel useful, needed, and trusted, they come alive. When they do not, they quietly disengage.

You can see it in everyday moments. A man focused entirely on finding a parking spot so his family can enjoy their day. A husband walking beside his wife, carrying nothing but fully present in escorting her where she wants to go.

These moments may look small, but they reveal something profound. Men find purpose in being the hero for the people they love.

Why Women Feel Burnt Out and Men Feel Lost

Many women today are exhausted. Overfunctioning. Carrying the emotional, mental, and logistical weight of the home. Making every decision. Holding everything together.

At the same time, many men feel disconnected, unmotivated, or numb. They distract themselves. They retreat. They appear lazy or checked out.

This is not because anyone is failing. It is because the balance has shifted.

When women step fully into control, men often step back. Not out of spite, but out of instinct. Men do not want to compete with women. When competition shows up, they withdraw.

The result is a marriage where both people feel unseen, unfulfilled, and misunderstood.

The Hero’s Journey and the Heroine’s Journey

Men and women are not meant to walk the same path.

The hero’s journey is outward. It is about proving, protecting, achieving, and being seen. Men are designed to test themselves against the world, to conquer challenges, and to return victorious.

The heroine’s journey is inward. It is quiet. Sacred. Often unseen.

A woman’s work is not about proving her worth. It is about remembering it. Healing conditioning. Listening to her body. Trusting her intuition. Releasing the belief that she must earn love, safety, or value through control or hustle.

This inward journey is where feminine energy is restored.

The Cost of Living in Control

Control often comes from fear.

Fear of things falling apart. Fear of not being supported. Fear of being disappointed. Fear of not feeling safe.

When control takes over, the nervous system stays activated. The body never rests. The heart never softens. Love becomes transactional instead of magnetic.

Letting go of control does not mean becoming passive or powerless. It means shifting your focus from managing others to tending to yourself.

That is where true power lives.

Why Men Need to Feel Needed

This truth can feel uncomfortable, but it matters.

Men need to feel needed. Research shows that men who lose their wives experience significantly higher mortality rates than women who lose their husbands. Being needed gives men purpose, direction, and vitality.

When women no longer need men at all, men often lose their sense of meaning. They do not know how to step forward when there is no space for them to do so.

Needing a man does not mean being incapable. It means allowing him to contribute, to serve, and to show up in the ways he is wired to.

Healing the Feminine Restores Balance

The path forward is not about forcing change.

It is about curiosity. Awareness. And healing from the inside out.

When a woman slows down, reconnects with her body, honors her emotions, and releases the need to control outcomes, something shifts. Feminine energy becomes magnetic. Safe. Grounded.

From that place, men naturally rise. Not because they are told to, but because they want to.

Balance is restored not through effort, but through alignment.

The Invitation

Nothing has gone wrong.

This is not about blame or shame. It is about perspective.

What if the tension in your marriage is not a failure, but a signal? What if the imbalance is simply an invitation to come home to yourself?

When you heal your feminine energy, you create space for your partner to step into his. When you stop competing, connection becomes possible again.

This is the dance. Separate, but deeply connected. Different, but equally vital.

And when both people return to their natural roles, love no longer feels heavy. It feels alive.