Episode 30: Using Humor To Heal Your Marriage
There is a moment many women recognize but rarely talk about. Life is full, marriage is functioning, work is moving forward, yet something feels heavy. The laughter is quieter. Playfulness feels forced or gone altogether. Everything feels serious, rigid, and tense.
Lack of humor is not a personality flaw. It is a signal.
When laughter disappears from a marriage or from daily life, it is often an indicator of what is happening internally. Stress, pressure, and emotional overload quietly shut down our ability to play, be spontaneous, and enjoy the moment we are in.
Why Playfulness Is the First Thing to Go
When the nervous system is overwhelmed, the body shifts into protection mode. In that state, creativity, humor, and spontaneity are not priorities. Survival is.
This is why tense seasons of life often feel joyless. It is not because you are incapable of fun. It is because your body does not feel safe enough to access it.
Many women try to push through this by pretending to be playful or forcing cheerfulness. But performing joy is exhausting. Real laughter cannot be manufactured. It only emerges when the body feels regulated and supported.
Children Show Us What We Forget
Watch a child for just a few minutes and you will see curiosity, silliness, creativity, and freedom. Children are drawn to fun instinctively. They are not measuring productivity or trying to get to the next task. They are fully present in what feels good.
Somewhere along the way, many women are taught that seriousness equals responsibility. Work comes first. Play comes later. Fun is earned, postponed, or squeezed into small windows when everything else is done.
The problem is that everything is never done.
When life is built entirely around output and results, joy slowly disappears. The body tightens. The mind races. The present moment becomes something to get through rather than something to experience.
Stress Lives in the Body, Not Just the Mind
Tension is not just a thought pattern. It is stored physically.
When stress goes unacknowledged, it builds. Over time it shows up as irritability, rigidity, emotional shutdown, or numbness. Humor stops landing. Jokes feel annoying instead of funny. Even moments that could be light feel irritating.
This is not because something is wrong with you. It is because a part of you has been needing attention for a long time.
That tense, serious part of you is not the enemy. It is a signal asking to be seen.
Regulation Comes Before Play
You cannot force yourself into joy while your nervous system is dysregulated.
Playfulness becomes accessible only after safety is restored. That safety starts internally. It looks like slowing down, noticing what you feel, and responding with curiosity instead of judgment.
When tension shows up, the question is not “How do I get rid of this?”
The question is “What is this trying to tell me?”
Treating your emotions with the same compassion you would give a child changes everything. When feelings are allowed instead of resisted, the body softens. Once the body softens, humor returns naturally.
Let the Body Lead the Way Back to Joy
Play does not begin in the mind. It begins in the body.
Joy is often reintroduced through small sensory cues. Music while doing ordinary tasks. Warmth. Comfort. Movement. Creating an environment that tells your nervous system it is safe to be here.
Presence happens when your mind and body are in the same place at the same time. When that alignment happens, you stop scanning for what is wrong and start noticing what is happening.
That is where laughter lives.
Feminine Energy Thrives in Play
Women are wired for connection, intuition, creativity, and receptivity. These qualities thrive in openness, not pressure.
When life becomes overly task driven and rigid, feminine energy gets suppressed. Seriousness takes over. Everything becomes about control, productivity, and getting through the day.
Returning to play is not irresponsible. It is restorative.
Playfulness reconnects you to your body, your intuition, and your sense of self. It opens the door to creativity in marriage, parenting, and business.
Your Inner Child Is Still There
The version of you who laughed easily, moved freely, and followed joy did not disappear. She is still there.
Healing is often less about becoming someone new and more about remembering who you were before you learned to be so careful.
Inviting fun back into your life does not require a dramatic change. It begins with permission. Permission to enjoy. Permission to be silly. Permission to let moments be light.
Why This Changes Everything
When humor returns, relationships soften. Communication becomes easier. Tension dissolves faster. Energy increases.
In marriage, laughter rebuilds connection without words.
In business, play fuels creativity and magnetism.
In life, joy reminds you why you are here in the first place.
Humor heals because it brings you back into your body and into the present moment. And from that place, everything flows more easily.
Joy is not a reward for getting life right.
It is a resource that helps you live it well.
